054 Lydia: Tastes Like Teen Puffy Nipples | |
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With all this horrible swine flu about I've decided to lay low. And by "low" I mean laying down commando style in some your tasty bird's room!
So, still laying low in a very nice hotel in Kent, I came across the magnificent Lydia. She was young, pert and very hot indeed! She was at some sort of business function I presume from her attire.
Having decided that Lydia was looking spankingly good I followed her down the long corridor into her room. It wasn't long before Lydia started trying on different bras and panties probably to decide on what she was going to wear for her night out. What a body!! Lydia was slender with perfect ripe tits and a fantastic bum - I knew something amazing lurked beneath that businesslike exterior!
From the bedroom to the bathroom, I saw the beautiful naked Lydia prance from room to room. I even caught her doing some dusting and saw that gorgeous pouting pussy from beneath her nightie - awesome!!
Join now to see the gorgeous Lydia get nude for you!
Lydia's Vital Stats: 35C
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053 Jay: Tastes Like Secretary Hard Nipples | |
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Sometimes I need to look for inspiration; I find that rubbing my balls and then smelling my fingers usually helps a lot. Like a quick adrenalin shot straight into the brain cavity.
However my other great source inspiration is in a woman's body. And I mean any part will do. The eyes, the breasts, the nipples, the hair, the curve between the waist and the ass, the legs, the shoulders, the posture - actually almost everything - apart from the feet. Does that make me weird? I don't know? I mean loads of guys like feet but I'm just totally neutral about them. Why would you want a girl to wank you with their feet when the have two perfectly good hands?
So anyway, this month I got to spy on the lovely Jay! I'm not sure what her feet were like but her nipples were awesome! That got beautifully erect and hard when cold - my favourite!
I spied her in some swanky hotel in Kent and guess what, yep, I followed her to her room. This invisibility is great stuff I shit you not!
So in her room in wasn't long before Jay was undressing and trying on her wardrobe. She even did a little strip for some horny bloke on msn - I would say lucky blighter but then I was in the room and getting first hand action!
Best part was watching Jay in the shower and then coming out to play with those amazing erect nipples - what a treat!
Join now to watch the yummy Jay get naked for you!
Jay's Vital Stats: 32D
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052 Kayla: Tastes Like Pert Brown Boobs | |
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Man being ill really sucks. I woke up the other morning with laceration on my gum and my cheek felt all tingly. Immediately I had visions of having a tennis ball sized on my face and quickly ran to the mirror. Of course there was nothing to see because as you all know...I’m invisible.
What made things even worse was biting my cheek on both sides. Once at 1pm and then at 4pm – WTF? Why is it everything always happens at once; my mouth feels like a fucking warzone at the moment. There was only one thing that was going to make me feel better...TITS!
So I drove down to Canary Wharf and hung around the Xcel Centre. Didn’t take long to spy a gorgeous little brown chick by the name of Kayla. I think she must have been half Jamaican or something by her beautiful skin colour – I was instantly enchanted!
She was staying at a hotel nearby so I snuck in close and followed her back. Kayla was wearing such a short skirt that even if she leaned over slightly I was catch a glimpse of white panties – WOW!
Back at the hotel Kayla chilled for a bit before getting changed and showing me those amazing pert breasts and big erect nipples. I love the way you can be surprised by how big a nipple gets when erect and Kayla’s didn’t disappoint!
What followed was also a big surprise – Kayla got out a vibrator and started playing with herself – reeeesult!! She wasn’t satisfied with just one orgasm either and kept going until she was fully done!
Join now to see Kayla get naked and cum for you!
Kayla's Vital Stats: 34B
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051 Fiona: Tastes Like Hot Blonde Puffies | |
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I must be the clumsiest bastard I know. I constantly have a pain somewhere which more often than not is linked to some random drinking injury. Most of the time I remember but on some days I wake up and feel the pain of something like a staved finger (doesn’t sound like much but those buggers are painful!) or a sprained ankle. Recently I woke up with a tear right down my rib cage as apparently I got really excited after coming second in a quiz and launched myself into the air and landed on the side of a table. Jackass has got nothing on me! Although admittedly those guys do it on purpose – so er...who’s the Jackass now...right?!
So, in-between nursing my sprains, bruises and paper cuts I managed to stumble across the lovely Fiona. This girl had a face like an angel – big blue eyes and long blonde hair – she would have looked right at home sitting on a rock on the sea signing songs and combing those locks mermaid style.
Instead she was pottering about her room while a pervy invisible man followed her about – lucky girl!
I was still at the posh golf course (proved to be a real warren full of tasty fanny rabbits) and it’s on the 18th hole that I found this little beauty. She was a real pro – managed to finish the course 5 under par – that’s the kind of performance that gives me an inquisitive semi every time!
So after the golf Fiona headed straight back for her room. I followed her closely as the hotel had a few security doors and there’s no way I was gonna lose this hot poonani!
Fiona made herself at home (as did I!) and it wasn’t long before she started getting changed and trying on a few sexy underwear sets. It’s amazing that these girls always seem to know exactly what I like!
Fiona’s got a beautiful face and a lovely body – really big nipples that get nice and bumpy when they’re hard – I LIKE that!
Join now to see the angelic Fiona get naked for you!
Fiona's Vital Stats: 32C
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050 Kirsty W: Tastes Like Country Soft Boobs | |
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"Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down"
Genius lyrics I'm sure you'll agree! However I do have to admit I have a bit of a hard spot for Katy Perry…she's a busty lass with plenty of spunk. Although I'm sure I heard somewhere she was into drinking from the furry cup - I guess that doesn't matter much.
Anyhoo - how about this month's young lass! Well, I was still hanging around the East Sussex area as the last girl was a pure glass and a half of "tasty as".
I wasn't disappointed I tell you. I played a couple of rounds of invisible golf (a LOT of fun) and then I spied the lovely Kirsty W (it's weird, I never spied a Kirsty and then I get two in a row!). She was hooking and slicing all over the place - but she had me at legs and ass! (and her boobs were well pert too!).
Luckily she was staying at the same hotel as I was staking out so I followed her in and down to her apartment. It was like following the white rabbit of Alice in Wonderland fame - except this rabbit had an AMAZING ass!!
Into her room and it's not long before she's trying on underwear - what a great body this Kirsty W has - lovely legs bum and great nipples!
There was a lovely soft innocence about Kirsty W - this might be because she was only 20 - but apart from her age she just looked like a yummy rosy cheeked country girl.
Sign up now and see what I mean - watch the lovely Kirsty W strip for you!
Kirsty W's Vital Stats: 34C
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049 Kirsty C: Tastes Like a Perfect 10 | |
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So I’ve given up wanking again in an attempt to purge my system of all its evils. Ok, so it would take a lot more than giving up the five knuckle shuffle to rid me of all evils but it’s a good start in my opinion.
I just spend an inordinate amount of time enjoying the pleasures of the palm when I could be doing far more useful things. In fact I’m sure I’d be a millionaire by now if I had channelled all this thrusting energy into other things; or at the very least I could have powered a few small towns.
So, this is day 2; I believe things are going pretty well so far.
Every now and again I meet a chick that quite literally takes my breath away. This chick is one of them. She’s a super slim slice of sexually charged TNT and she had me tearing holes in my C&A slacks when I set eyes on her.
Her name was Kirsty C and what a corker! I had travelled to some fancy golf hotel in East Sussex to see if golf chicks could cut it. Well, I wasn’t disappointed! I saw her seductively sliding a ball in the 18th hole and her followed her from there.
Amazing ass and fantastic rack – what more could a lad want? She was wearing a low-cut top and a mini-skirt so I could definitely see the cut of her gib – not normal golfing attire I’ll have to admit!
Back in her hotel room it wasn’t long before those big natural boobs and perfect little ass came on display. Looks like a picked a bad day to give up wanking!
I could spy Kirsty C’s fantastic boobs until the cows came home...and then some. Got to see her trying on underwear, having a soapy shower and even doing a bit of colouring in!
Join now to see the awesome Kirsty C in action!
Kirsty C's Vital Stats: 28E
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048 Kate: Tastes Like Pert Natural 36D Boobs | |
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One thing I've never really "got" is watching sport. Ok, so maybe the World Cup (football) and the Olympics are exceptions, but generally I don' really dig it. To me it's kind of homo erotic as it involves watching a whole load of blokes in shorts. I blame not having a dad…I think I was some sort of test tube baby or some sort of thing. I know they may have been some monkey sperm involved or at the very least some monkey glands.
"So!" I hear you cry - what's that Royster Doyster Steaky Ham been getting up to this time? Well, as you know I'm a complete woman addict so I can't let one single week go past without spying on some nubile young body.
This time I had the great fortune of bumping into the lovely Kate. I was sitting at the Grand Prix at Brands Hatch wondering what the fuck I was doing there - oh yeah - Grand Prix attracts premium pussy for some reason. Anyway, after watching the cars go round and round and round (you see I really don't like watching sport!) I spied the lovely Kate sipping on champagne with some rich types. So I slipped over and listened to their vacuous conversation, marvelling on how money seemed to drip fork ever pore. Kate looked a bit bored so I used my power of invisibility to knock the champagne onto her top. She apologised to all concerned and then headed off to her hotel room to get changed with me in tow - invisibly of course!
Back in the room I got to see the lovely Kate strip off and show that marvellous rack and ass. She also had really beautiful eyes (they must have been nice as normally I can't take my eyes of the tits).
Lucky Steaky again got to see a young hot filly get naked, take a bath, try on underwear - and all the other stuff a peeping tom like myself expects (and loves!) to see.
Join now to see the lovely Kate get naked all for you!
Kate's Vital Stats: 36D
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047 Jojo: Tastes Like Big Firm Boobs | |
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I've been trying to read a book my mum gave me for the last 6 months. Reckon I'm 100 pages in now. The problem is I have to read the same damn page 10 times over before I get it. It's either a work of pure genius or total madness - I can't quite decide. Hopefully it'll get me to stop wanking.
So, I have to say that this instalment of the ham-moirs got very hot and steamy indeed! A while back I had the pleasure of stumbling across the lovely young busty Jojo. She was a dark haired scorcher with tits made of pure adamantium! (that's the strongest metal in the world).
Well, I had to get me some more of that special Jojo action so I made the trip to back to Nottingham. It didn't take long to find her with my finely tuned breast-da. Once I homed in on her and tailed the raven beauty back to her abode which happned to be a very nice place overlooking a field full of rabbits.
Jojo wasn't shy about getting changed straight away - and why shouldn't she be - I am invisible after all! Was amazing to get a glimpse of that perfect body again. Tits that point up the way and an ass that could launch a thousand ships - the very sight made me all a giddy!
But it got much better this time…
Jojo decided to masturbate…and then some!! She must have knocked off about 4 orgasms!!! Her pussy dripped sweet pussy juice all the while - twas a sight to behold!
I almost collapsed with the excitement I'll have to say - this is one episode that can't be missed!
Join now to see the yummy busty Jojo strip and play with that lovely wet pussy of hers!
Jojo's Vital Stats: 32DD
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046 Laura: Tastes Like 34DD Natural Boobs | |
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So I heard that some guys got caught in Italy with roughly the equivalent of New Zealand's GDP in bonds. Man - I should start using my invisibility for stunts like that one - there's no way I'd be getting caught cross borders in see thru steaky-stealth mode!
Meh…what would I do with all that cash anyway? I get all the fun I need just by cruising around and spying on nude chicks. What the hell could be better than that? Actually - fucking them would be better it has to be said, but what do you take me for - some kind of pervert!!?
So anyway, I jumped in my banged up old Saab 900 and sped off to somewhere -anywhere - I didn't really care. Turns out I ended up in Northampton at a hotel very similar to the one Alan Partridge stayed in (with 12 inch plate). It seemed like a nice enough place to I stalked around the main entrance and waited for el hot chicks to entrée!
Wasn't long before I spotted Laura. She was kind of white and Goth looking which I found quite intriguing - but not as intriguing as her great ass and tits!! What a fair pair of boobs this Laura had - even though she was wearing a blouse my steaky senses took over and I already knew they were top dollar.
After following her to her room I nestled in the corner and awaited the action. Didn't take long before she was stripping off…and playing coits for goodness sake! Although she played it in her bra and panties so I wasn't complaining!
Then the busty pale skinned Laura took to the her laptop and started doing a sexy strip for her boyfriend - the naughty minx!!
I had a whale of a time watching Laura reveal her tasty tits and ass and I think you should too - join now!!
Laura's Vital Stats: 34DD
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045 Abbie: Tastes Like Big Natural Boobs with Bumpy Nipples | |
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What a weekend; I'm still feeling the after effects and it's already the next weekend. You know something went wrong in your life when your 35 and climbing tall trees at 5am out of your mind - or maybe it all went right?
I tell you what did go right - and that's when I met the wonderful Abbie! This girl was jam packed stacked with some of the best boobs I've seen this side of the known universe (they defied gravity just like bricks don't). Amazing nipples too - really big, but with nice erect bits and LOVELY bumps - I could have watched this girl forever! (well, at least until she got old and chubby)
So I find Abbie walking through the park in a gipsy top like some beautiful hippie or one of the chicks from the old Cadbury Flake adverts. She was just brushing the leaves of the branches with her hands and feeling the texture of park benches. This Abbie was a strange sort it has to be said but with those 100 percent natural titties staring me in the face through her top she could have been bloody Auld Nick himself and I wouldn't of cared.
Back in her hotel room (the one I'd be staking out for a few weeks) she was pretty quick to let those silky puppies out of the bag and OH MY GOODNESS what a sight to behold. I about creamed my pantyhose!
This Abbie really was something special - so special in fact that I dropped my mobile in the toilet while taking a piss break - I was THAT excited!
Join now to see the utterly delectable Abbie let loose one of the most lovely bodies your ever likely to see!
Ps. She also had an amazing ass!! It's just that her tits were that great I forgot to mention!
Abbie's Vital Stats: 32F
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044 Barbie: Tastes Blonde and Busty | |
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So, 4 pints of stella later and I'm feeling ripe! But not half as ripe as I was the other day when I came across the lovely Barbie!
This girl was about 6 foot tall I shit you not - but with long blonde hair and great big natural titties - spice a life!
Still in the very luxurious classy end of Dundee (or Fundee as I like to call it) I was sitting there hatching imaginary eggs in the corner of the room when she walked in all tall and busty like demanding my invisible attention!
Her name was Barbie (of course!) and within minutes she had stripped down and started strumming the man in the boat - Barbie didn't even wait until it got dark - the naughty lady!
So it was another fantastic busty adventure for the Ham which I'm all too happy to share with you - I'm all heart me!!
Join now to watch those big blonde melons in action!
Barbie's Vital Stats: 32E
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043 Vanessa: Tastes Slim and Stacked | |
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Ok, there have been a few changes to the life of Ham recently. Firstly, my girlfriend left me. I guess this is totally justifiable as I go round the country checking out naked girls while invisible. She knew that I did this when I met her but told me to give up when I asked her to marry me. I tried…but failed. I guess when you have such a special power; it's pretty difficult to give it up. It's kind of like Wolverine giving up his power of healing - ain't no way that's going to happen for any chick!
So, here I am once more, walking the road like that dude in Kung-Fu - always looking but never finding…
Of course this means that I'll be updating every two weeks as my weekends have been somewhat freed up again.
So, back to business!! While up in the coldest climbs of Scotland (I had to return one day!) I found the latest brunette beauty. Her name was Vanessa and boy what a cracking wee lovely she was!! Slim and stacked as they say!!
I had snuck out in a classy hotel in Dundee to do my dealings when she walked through the door. Slender legs first then great pair of big firm natural boobs - voila!!
I watched her do all sorts, jump on the bed, watch the telly, roll around having a very sexy dream and even take a steaming hot bath! Steaky was in heaven once again!
Join now to see the lovely Vanessa strip down for you!
Vanessa's Vital Stats: 32DD
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042 Amz: Tastes Like Teen DD Boobs | |
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I'll have to admit - even after 35 years of staring at boobs I still get bowled away every time I see a nice pair. They just keep giving and giving! I guess it's because they're all unique but even the ones I see every day - like a steady girlfriend - never ever get boring. In fact, I find myself trying to look away half the time because they're just too exciting! If I ever get high blood pressure or a dodgy ticker then God help me!!
This next girl Amz is a very busty lady indeed - and young too! I spied Amz buying fish fingers at Iceland and as she leaned over to pick up Captain Birdseye's finest I saw her massive cleavage sinking over the freezer like 2 airships crashing towards the ground! I knew at this point that I had to see those babies in action.
Although she shopped in Iceland she obviously didn't mind splashing the cash for the posh hotel I'd been hiding out at these last few weeks. I followed her into her room and snuck out under the study table where I made myself comfortable and sat cross legged waiting for the hot tit action to unfold.
Man I was NOT disappointed by this girls jugs - they were giant and solid!! But you know I hate the silicone and these were definitely provided by Mother Nature's best - made Steaky a very happy boy indeed!
I watched Amz for a good hour as those massive boobs bounded around the room like a couple of happy puppy dogs. Cleaning up, then a shower, then some Wii tennis - the fun just went on and on!
Join now to see Amz's huge hooters in the flesh - they really are worth it!
Amz's Vital Stats: 36DD
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041 Amy: Tastes Like Teen Pert Ass | |
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Damn moving house can be a nightmare! Carrying bloody boxes up and down stairs for 8 hours solid - how the hell do people do this for a living? My mum used to move almost every year so I've built up a real hatred for it.
There was only one thing for it…I needed to spy me some flange! And it turned out to be some very fresh young flange indeed! Her name was Amy and she had a perfect bottom and lovely fresh pert boobs. She had a real shy way about her and I couldn't wait to see her all undressed and naughty like!
She was living with her parents so I chose a moment when her mum and dad were out doing their weekly shop for milk and cheese and buns. Boy…I couldn't wait to see Amy's buns!!
Luckily I didn't have to wait long!! She was reading her "New Cat Monthly" magazine when all of a sudden she decided to go for a shower. Bingo! I took up my position and watching the soft young bunny action unfold!
Amy was a true sight to behold naked - a peachier ass I have not seen in a long time!! I couldn't believe when she started playing Wii with no clothes on - the saucy minx!!!
Join now to see young Amy get naked and jiggle!
Amy's Vital Stats: 34D
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It finally happened!! I finally came across a hotel room that had not one, but 2 delicious juicy girls!! Ok, so I may have been tipped off a few weeks back when I bumped into either girl individually (I overheard them talking about some sort of network card sales conference they were attending where they'd be staying in the same room).
So you could say I planned this one fairly meticulously. Actually that word rarely applies to me. I remember a guy I used to work for who was really meticulous - it would be hard sometimes to stay awake when he was telling me something. Every lunchtime he used to eat his sandwiches in a strip bar; but I don't think that had much to do with his meticulous nature.
To be in a room with two fine and tasty ladies when they don't know you're there is a bit of a kick I'll have to say!! I had to be extra careful to plant myself all over the room ninja style so she as not to brush up against one of these buxom beauties.
After some initial chit-chat I could tell that Mary Louise had a total boner for the Mia. She really looked like she was champing at the bit when Mia started to remove her clothes to have a shower. No wonder!!! I was too ;)
These two girls seemed to have a well natural chemistry finding it easy to soap each other up in the shower - laughing and playing all the while. But was there any action? Did one girl make a move on the other? Were either of them really lesbians? And what's up with the shape of a hammerhead shark's head - how the hell did that happen!?
Too find out almost all of the answers to these questions - sign up now to theinvisibleham!!
Mary Louise and Mia's Vital Stats: 34D and 32E
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039 Mellie D: Tastes Like Huge Brown Tits | |
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One thing I must say I love is when a girl has blue or green eyes with olive/brown skin. It just looks so damn juicy - I couldn't even try to explain why - perhaps the contrast?
Well, my next subject is the massively busty Mellie D and guess what? Apart from her huge brown boobs, Mellie D also has wonderful blue eyes to go with her olive skin. I noticed this as she did some last minute shopping at the crazy Woolworths closing down sale on Portsmouth High Street.
I snuck in close beside a tower of out of date Easter Eggs (I don't actually need to "snuck" as I'm invisible however I like to keep out of the way just in case someone gropes me by accident).
Watching Mellie D's heaving boobs as she fired in cut price goods was mesmerising - I couldn't wait to follow her back to her abode!
I didn't have to wait long and I merrily skipped after the big boobed brunette!
Back at her house I was treated to the awesome sight of the breasts in the flesh - in the shower, on the bed and even playing the Wii! But best of all is when she got the magic wand out and boy did she scream the house down - I was afraid the hotel staff were going to think she was having a fit and burst into the room!
Join now to see the impossibly buxom Mellie D get naked and play!
Mellie D's Vital Stats: 32G
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038 Sammie B: Tastes Like Pert Puffy Tits | |
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I decided to leave the lovely town of Bournemouth and head over to Portsmouth (Pompey to the locals) to see what talent I could spot there.
It didn't take long! I spotted a fine looking young lady - who I later found out was called Sammie B - doing a spot of shopping. She had a fantastic bottom and great pert tits not to mention a very pretty face!
I hung around as Sammie B stocked up on economy beans and tinned mushrooms (good recession food!) Twas a pleasure to spy this lovely girl's perfect ass in her little mini-skirt as she navigated the shopping aisles.
I didn't have to wait too long before Sammie B got fed up of food shopping and decided to head home. I rubbed my invisible hands with anticipatory glee!
Back in her house it wasn't long before she had her bikini on and was pummelling away on the Nintendo Wii. What a site as her beautiful boobs giggled about! Even better when she actually took her bikini off; think she was getting a bit too hot as Nintendo tennis can be quite gruelling!
Of course she needed a nice long hot shower afterwards but I guess you'll just have to sign up to see that!
So join now too see the sexy Sammie B show off that gorgeous body of hers!
Sammie B's Vital Stats: 34B
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